Corrupt-A-Wish!

Granted, but I overuse it.
I also wish for a panda emoticon

granted but you cant use it
i wish for a panda emoticon

Granted, but its pandaness belongs only to me.
I wish for a baby panda emoticon.

Granted but it gets mauled by the shark emoticon
i wish for a raise at work

Granted, but you get fired the day after
I wish Spring Break lasted longer, and that it stopped raining.

Spring Break does last longer, and the rain does stop; however there is a constant earthquake for the duration of your extended Spring Break.

I wish I could shoot lightning out of my fingertips

Granted, but it always hits you in the face. It hurts like a mofo
I wish the thing that said I was 41 went away, but I could still keep my birthday as 6/6/66

granted, but crazy devil ppl burn you at a steak for being the devil
i wish i could hack the bank systems just like die hard 4

Granted, but the economy collapses, and all your money becomes useless.
I wish I would become the Emperor of the World.

granted but now you have to deal with all its massive problems...oh and an asteroid hits earth 1 week after you take over..rocks fall everyone dies

i wish i wasnt sick

granted, but you lose half of your brain in the recovery process.

I wish I had a bottle of vodka.

Granted, but you get alcohol poisoning from one swig and spend an entire night near death, in a hospital, throwing up all over the place.
I wish I had a cozy bed.

granted its made of asbestos
i wish i had some pizza

Granted, but it's from Dominoes so it phails.
I wish this thread had more posts.

granted, it now has 1 more
i wish i had more holidays

Granted, but you fall into a coma and don't even realize them
I wish the chicks at school were hott

granted but they all hate you and then join the amish and grow beards
i wish i had been paid today >_>

Granted but your paid with xtc and get busted before you get home.
I wish UPS was faster.

Granted, but the first package you receive has a bomb in it; when you open it, it explodes and kills you.

I wish I had a day off of classes.

Granted, but you get rabies on your day off
I wish spring break lasted longer

granted but the hotel you stay at is taken over by terroist anti-Panda militants and you die
i wish for me not to have a cold

Granted, but you get the T virus instead.
I wish the hott, non-Amish chicks at my school were at the beach during my extended spring break... and i'm not staying at a hotel.

granted but now your not "interested" in them
i wish for some jubes

Granted, the bubonic plague takes your life.

I wish I had another wish.

Granted, but you haven't wished yet.
I wish I had my xbox right now.