Corrupt-A-Wish!

granted its just mildly tainted
i wish i knew where your IRC room went

granted, but then it crashes.

i wish i was really strong

granted but you crush everyone you touched.

i wish that i was the most handsomest man in CN.

granted but everyone is twice a handsome as you.

I wish i had a burger.

Granted, but I take it and am eating it.

I wish it had bacon~

Granted, but it's completely burnt.

I wish I could read the reply box. The color scheme is nearly impossible for me to see.

Granted, but you go blind
I wish Raikage would take off the thing that says king of spam. I have more posts, ergo I am the king of spam

granted but i put it on instead
i wish fred had less posts

Okay, but you still have less.
Never! I where does it say it though?

I wish I could find it.

granted, you find it but then it changes place...
i wish we went back to the original colours...

DENIED!
i wish i already had my paycheck from last week

Granted, but it makes the space-time continuum asplode.
I wish System would take off the King of Spam thing in his sig. I meant him all along. I have more posts, ergo I am the king of spam.

Granted but i coup in 2 days and put it back
i wish fred would give up trying to out spam me

granted, but i outspam you

i wish i was married to angelina jolie

granted but you never have sex because shes always away in africa
i wish i had some nukes

granted, but they go off in ur arsehole...

i wish angelina didn't go to africa!!

Granted, but she stays pregnant forever.
I wish I had more time to spam

granted but you run out of stuff to spam about

i wish i had a pet snake

granted but it bites you

i wish i played tenis like federer

Granted, but nobody cares about tennis, just like now.
I wish I had a ton of money.

granted, but you get robbed

i wish i would live forever at 23 years old

Granted, but the rest of the world dies and you sit there for all eternity hitting your head against a rock.
I wish a had a ton of money in my bank account.

granted but the great depression starts again (you lose all money in the bank)

i wish i lived in ireland

FDIC. lolwut pwnd.
Granted, but rebels kill you.
I wish I had a shitload in a Swiss bank.

Granted, that bank got robbed

i wish i was richer than bill gates